Dance isn’t just about your feet. A lot of what happens on the dance floor starts before that, before the wedding, inside your head.

As you think about that first dance with your husband, lots of thoughts get in your head, and not all of them might be happy ones. Maybe you are very comfortable dancing, but your partner? Well, let’s say most of the guys don’t feel like that when it comes to dancing in front of all his friends and family in really uncomfortable shoes.

Your first dance should be as romantic as you imagine, but you also have to think about your husband’s feelings about it. You might want to do a complicated choreography that you saw in a movie once… but for him it might be more scary than exciting. By planning and working ahead, your first dance can be a middle point between your expectations and his. Start early with some lessons so that your body knows where it wants to move without even having to think about the steps involved. That way you can relax and enjoy what is arguably the romantic highlight of your wedding reception.

But what if you are the one concerned about the dance? Well, then step one would be to rethink your thinking. Reprogram your brain and change the default “no way I could ever do that” to “I can learn to dance”. Also, before purchasing dancing lessons, decide exactly what you want to accomplish. Do you want to learn complicated dancing steps? Are you ready for that? You should set the dance bar at realistic heights. Don’t think you can do the same as the “Dancing With the Stars” people in two days. They work with an extremely professional dancer that drives them through those complicated and demanding routines.

Be realistic on what you can and you can’t do and remember that, simple is sometimes nicer and better than complicated. Get to an agreement with your partner and enjoy!

-GGW